The fall and winter seasons aren’t always merry and bright for everyone, especially when experiencing the holiday blues. Cozy vibes, twinkling lights, hot cocoa, and sweater weather don’t always cut it; we’re here to tell you it’s normal. You’re not the only one feeling this way. We’ll delve into why it happens and how you can cope.
What Are the Holiday Blues?
The blues during the holidays isn’t just about feeling down. Maybe you’re stressed about gifts, parties, or keeping it together before everyone comes over while parenting a three-nager. Maybe emotions like loneliness or grief creep in. Sometimes, nostalgia settles in for how things used to be during the holidays. Layer on anxiety, depression, or the good old-fashioned extra pressure to feel festive and celebratory, and your struggles become even more challenging to bear.
Why Do We Get the Blues During the Holidays?
Expectations are at an all-time high at the end of the year. There’s pressure to rise to the occasion, whether it’s the perfect meal, the perfect party, the perfect family dynamic, the quantity and quality of celebrations and plans, or the curated, most-liked social media post. It’s easy to feel like we need to meet these standards. But the truth is that perfection doesn’t exist. Most people I know are grateful when the holiday sprint is over.
Beyond expectations, feeling like something is missing is also a significant factor in why the blues come about during the holidays. Maybe a loved one has passed or moved on, or maybe there’s a longing for connection when it’s more complicated than ever to make one.
And then there’s the mixed bag of financial hardship, mental health, or pure exhaustion. The blues during the holidays are complex. If you want to learn even more, check out the Holiday Blues FAQ at the end.
How to Cope When the Holidays Feel Heavy
You don’t have to survive the season by pretending to be happy or following expectations. The tips below can ease your blues holiday haze and find what works for you:
- Simplify Your Plans: Less really is more. Permit yourself to attend only some events and not have to buy the perfect gift or create a social media-worthy holiday. Focus your energy on what matters most, not what’s expected.
- Honor Your Feelings: Accept all the feelings. Sadness, nostalgia, grief, or even emotions you can’t quite name are valid and standard parts of the human experience.
- Set Boundaries: The holidays are often fraught with family drama or at least complex family dynamics that can trigger a range of emotions, including stress. This is when setting boundaries that protect your peace, which can be very helpful. Remember, boundaries aren’t mean or disrespectful when communicated appropriately. When honored, these limits can ease relationship dynamics, giving you the power to shape your holiday experience and feel more in control.
- Make New Traditions: If traditions no longer serve your present situation, it’s okay to create new ones. For instance, you could watch your favorite movies in pajamas, celebrate with your chosen family instead, or have a solo holiday spa night. You could also start a new tradition of volunteering at a local shelter or organizing a game night with friends. The key is to find activities that bring you joy and align with your current circumstances.
- Reach Out for Support: When you open up to people, you also develop your connection with them. You don’t have to survive the season solo. Share your emotions with people you can confide in, whether a friend, therapist, or online community. Sometimes, just saying what you’re feeling out loud can provide relief.
A Little Reminder
It’s not uncommon for the holidays to be complicated. Emotions can range from complete love and joy to loneliness and stress. There’s space for all of it. If you feel the holiday blues creeping in, find peace in sips of hot cocoa or new traditions. Every season will pass, and it’s okay to experience a range of emotions during the holidays. Your feelings are valid and accepted.
Holiday Blues FAQs
What’s the difference between holiday blues and depression?
The differences come down to how long feelings of sadness persist. The blues over the holidays typically lift once the holidays pass. However, if your feelings of sadness, loneliness, or stress persist for weeks to months or longer and interfere with your daily activities, you may be experiencing depression. It’s essential to seek professional help in this situation. Remember, asking for help is okay; you don’t have to go through this alone.
Are the holiday blues standard?
It’s completely normal. Between the stress, pressure, and nostalgia the holidays evoke, it’s hard not to feel a mix of emotions. You’re not alone and don’t have to plaster on a smile if you don’t want to. Your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to experience a range of emotions during the holidays (L&B Counseling).
How can I feel more connected during the holidays?
Connect with loved ones, even if it’s not in person.
Volunteering can create that sense of belonging and hope.
Virtual events or support groups are great to find people in the same boat.
What if I feel overwhelmed by holiday obligations?
Remember, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. How much will people remember that perfect gift, post, or decoration? Seasons come and go, and you will have opportunities to attend events. Focus your energy on what’s most important to you. If you can’t connect with certain people during the holidays, offer another time that works better for you.
Can self-care help with the holiday blues?
Yes, taking time for yourself can help alleviate stress and make those holiday obligations seem less demanding! Whether it’s a spa night, taking walks, journaling, or carving out quiet time, these are important for your mental health.
How can I manage financial stress during the holidays?
Establish a realistic budget and adhere to it. Some of the best gifts I’ve received were not expensive. They were simple, thoughtful gifts like handwritten notes or homemade treats. A little can go a long way, and if you’re being judged on the luxury status of your gifts, are those people you want to invest your energy, time, and money in? There are plenty of low-cost and free activities in your area, such as watching a movie, baking, or checking out holiday lights.
Can children or teens experience the holiday blues?
The blues do not discriminate with age. Kids can feel overwhelmed by family dynamics or guilty for not meeting expectations. Creating space for those feelings and talking openly about them can do wonders.
How does grief contribute to the holiday blues?
Holidays are often marketed as the season for gathering, which can amplify feelings of grief. Honor the memories of loved ones with traditions, storytelling, or quiet reflection to navigate those feelings.
Can the weather make holiday blues worse?
Reduced sunlight and colder weather can make us feel more somber. Light therapy, outdoor activities, and staying active can help alleviate sadness.
Is it okay if I don’t celebrate the holidays?
Absolutely! The holidays may be the time for a personal retreat or for you to delve into those hobbies you wish you had more time for. There’s no one way of handling the seasons, and the way that makes you feel most at peace is a better choice than those that negatively impact your mental health. The holidays are what you make of them.
Have you Experienced Holiday Blues?
Please comment below. You might be interested in our article on taming anxiety and parenting with trauma.
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